Yesterday was my fourth day on the vintage diet, and as it was my deadline day, it was hectic from start to finish.

As usual, I didn’t cook anything for breakfast beyond toast, and decided to morph the bacon into ham, and throw in some tomatoes to make a massive salad for lunch. The only veggies I had suitable for a salad were carrots (most of my veg is frozen – so much cheaper, easier and sometimes healthier than fresh!), so I cut ribbons out of them using a vegetable peeler, and added them to my bowl along with romaine lettuce, ham, tomatoes, some cheese, a tsp of olive oil and a tablespoon of balsamic vinegar.

I didn’t drink the orange juice, the soup, or eat the grapefruit or the plums (or pears!), and by the time I got to dinner, I was in a pretty bad mood so I decided that you could interpret green beans as chips and went to the chip shop. Luckily, they only had a child’s portion of chips left (but it was still large enough to share and have some leftovers, eh?) so we had it with our Spanish omelette. Actually, really nice! Of course I didn’t take any photos – you think I’m going to totally incriminate myself on the internet? Look at that salad up there, that’s my online dieting legacy (seriously, though, it was really nice!).

Because of the ravenous anti-dieting monster I became yesterday, I didn’t do a calorie count, but if I did the numbers would have read XXX, as in TOXIC! I’m a lot less stressed today, and although I ate a breakfast biscuit instead of toast (REBEL, REBEL!), I’m going to try stick to the plan again – or rather, my mixed up, 2013 version of the plan, which involves moving everything around and messing all up.

Welcome to the future, it’s just total anarchy!