I had a brilliant day yesterday completing the (nearly) 40k course at Cycletta South, and thought I would share some of my observations and great wisdom with you. See, now I’ve done my first 40k RACE I am now a proper athlete and such, and I even have a tiny medal to prove it.

1. Say what you like about safety, but the number one use of a bicycle bell is to ping at small children who are waving at you. They LOVE it.
2. When event organisers say ’40k ride’ along with the words ‘you can even do it on a Pashley’, bear in mind that if you DO cycle on a sit up and beg, everyone will be surprised you didn’t die on the way round.
3. Hills are a bitch.
4. Headwinds are a bitch.
5. Headwinds and hills will make you think you are about to die – you probably won’t, but it will be close.
6. You burn calories doing long cycle rides, but you can’t count them all if you hit the flapjacks at the feed station.
7. Do not greet male cyclists in a friendly way by dinging your bell at them, whilst sticking your tongue out in concentration so you don’t fall off your bike. It looks a little like you’re trying to sexually harass them.
8. Bison Hill should be renamed Bitching Hill, because that’s all I did on the way up.
9. Wet wipes are your friend when you’ve finished.
10. Once you’ve got past that finish line, you’ll feel like the Queen of the Universe!

Stay tuned for a proper write up of the day later!