Guys, this has been a really hard blog post to write, so please be gentle with me…
Last summer, I told you I was taking a long hard look at myself following a fairly bleak period in my life. Depression, self-destruction and self-neglect were unfortunate side effects of a death in the family – which had already been preceded by two more over the space of a few years, all just before or just after Christmas. I don’t often get too personal on my blog, but it’s really confession time here: I’ve let myself go.
Fitness and health have always been a part of my life, and in recent months I feel like I’ve been slowly waking back up and turning back into my normal self. The past 18 months feel like a dream – I was definitely sleepwalking through life. Over that course of time, I also managed to put on almost two stone on my already plump frame, leading me to the highest weight I’ve ever been at the beginning of January. It’s time for a change.
There’s been no sudden light bulb moment, or change of heart. I knew I needed to change the entire time I was wrecking my body and pushing myself further away from my goals. In fact, telling myself I was going to change eventually was a big part of what led me so far astray – this pizza is fine, because I’ll start losing weight soon. That takeaway is my last one, because I’m going to be exercising and eating properly from tomorrow… Tomorrow has taken a long time to get here.
So this is the first post of my weight loss journey, and it’s a bit of a cheat. I’m already a week and a half into my plan and I’m down 11lbs. (That alone should clue you in to just how bad I’ve been.) I’m sharing this to chart my progress, keep me accountable, and hopefully inspire you if you feel like self-love is lacking in your life. This weight loss project is just how I’m seeking to look after myself, but your method will vary. I’m going to share my thoughts and progress, but I’m not here to tell you what to do or provide guidance for your own fitness or weight loss plans. One thing I’ve learned is that there are many ways to get to the same destination, and that one person’s easy path is another’s arduous trek. I’m going to put a disclaimer on the bottom of my posts each time, but I want to take a moment to make clear that you should always do your own research, and speak to professionals where necessary. Don’t just blindly follow one source for anything – this is no exception!
With that said, I’ll post tomorrow about my first week’s progress, and what I’ve been up to. I hope you guys will support my resolution for fitness, because I have a feeling I’m going to need a lot of help. Along the way, I really want us to be able to support each other to seek out happiness, and learn to practice self-love in whatever form works the best for each of us.
2 thoughts on “Fitness is a form of self-love: a confession ”
I hear you Gemma. I’m happy for you that you are feeling better!
I also realized I was at my heaviest weight ever at the beginning of the year. My weight gain wasn’t so much about depression although it has been in the past. My husband and I bought our first home and I have been in full nesting mode for a year. One year I think I made a different pie each weekend- and it’s just the two of us. LOL. I love cooking and baking and it was fun getting fat. But now none of my clothes fit.
So we are both dieting. And I’ve started running again. And it’s HARD. But I already feel better.
I feel like my thirties have been a cycle of gaining and losing weight. What I need is balance- a lifestyle I can maintain always so I don’t keep ballooning and deflating.
I look forward to cheering on your progress and getting inspiration from your blog.
We can do it!! 💗
It’s so easy to fall into this trap – I gained a lot of weight after I got married just because I celebrate and socialise around food. All of my major life events involve it, and I need to work out a way to deal with that, because it’s never going to change!
On the clothes front, I have a wardrobe of beautiful clothes to wear, and can’t fit into anything right now except shapeless bags. It’ll be part of my motivation to lose weight!
Yo-yo dieting is one of the scourges of the modern era, right? The only cure is constant vigilance! I feel like I’ve let my youth slip through my fingers a little bit, but I have to just get over that and remind myself that right now, I’m the youngest I’ll ever be again. 😉