Let’s play a game. The game is called ‘You Are Enviously Rich’, and the aim is to pretend you can afford anything – anything – from your favourite designer du jour. You may have already played this game, but called it by a different name. Like, ‘Heart Break Lusting’ or ‘Fury Surfing’. Or ‘Green-Eyed With Envy’. Or even ‘Who Can Afford This Stuff, Really?’. It doesn’t matter, I’m sure we all enjoy the game the same…
At the moment, I am still in the grip of my Mulberry fangirl phase – and drooling over the label’s new offerings for A/W 2013. As I am but an apprentice to the Mulberry ways, I am hesitant to make statements with any confidence, but I believe I am in love with two new additions to the Mulberry family. Or at least, I think they’re new – but who can be sure of anything in this crazy world?
How could you pick a favourite between the two of these beauties?
First, let us consider the elegant golden clasp of the Small Suffolk – a well proportioned, comfortably English bag, adorned with no nonsense and frills, but supremely self-assured in its simplicity. Perhaps, one might say, this bag is too simple – but surely, only if one were of the lowest intellect and completely devoid of style. For what this bag lacks in gaudy panache and attention-seeking embellishments, it makes up for with its achingly sublime emerald leather – a colour that shouts more loudly than any extraneous pockets, flaps or straps ever could. The Small Suffolk need not dance for your amusement – you must dance for her, for she is a lady. And she costs £1350. But, for that, she is yours forever.
But, don’t stop there. Observe, if you will, Primrose’s confident curves, and her daring – some might say, overly complex – postman’s lock fastening, which has a hinge. A hinge! Admire her flaming red leather, contrasting elegantly with her gold furniture, and weep. For you know that £1200 for a bag is probably too much. Is it? Is it really too much for this bag? “Yes,” says the bank manager. A tear falls down his cheek. “Yes, my child.” His eyes close, and you both take a moment to mourn… And to wonder when the next Mulberry sale will be. And to maybe do some sums, because surely that’s only £100 a month for a year, which actually sounds pretty reasonable when you’ll be using it every day. EVERY DAY.
And what do bank managers know about fashion, anyway?